Would you rather be single & rich or married & poor
 

Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? If you can do it all over again, what would you do?

I am taking the hypothetical to the extremes, I am sure you can be both married and rich, but generally speaking when you have kids, college, morgage payments, houswife that dont work, daycare, etc. your disposible income decreases (generally speaking).

I was watching the movie "family man with nicholas cage" and got the idea from there...

Also, mention your age bracket when posting, different ages indicates different levels of maturity and goals in life.

It's one of those catch 22 questions because IMO or in my peticular case there's know way I could make it without a good woman.

Also neither of those whould apply. Marry smart if you are dating a girl/guy and all your thinking about is T!ts/ass keep em for your personal desires but by all means continue to look for someone with good head on their shoulders.

See I can keep my comments PC!:cool:

Hi All
This is to easy. Here we go.
I am single and I am rich. At my age 48 have no desire to be married. Care free life style suits me just fine.Happy driving.

joe moon
85-380SL
94-E320Sedan
95-E320Cabriolet

Interesting....it seems I may have to make this choice at some point. What should I do?

EDIT: Oops, forgot....I'm 38. ;)

I'll take the single and rich option.

I never tried poor, but I did try married. Didn't like it much. Single and rich works for me.

30 years old.

Single and rich. That family man movie made me wanna puke. Give me the Ferrari and the pimp apartment.

As long as I'm married, I don't care what happens financially.
My father, a man of few words, likes to say "the smartest thing you ever did was marry that girl", and he's right:D :D

I'm 47, married, and definately not rich. I often tease the wife about "if I'd stayed single, I'd have a new Benz sitting out in the garage,not one that's 20 years old with over 300,000 miles on it":D ;)

Nope. Wouldn't trade what I have(and don't have) for whatever the rest of you think you have. Sorry.:p

The "Family Man" movie, for those that have not seen it, had a fellow transported from his wealthy, selfish life of being a corporate raider driving a Ferrari and living in a Manhattan de-luxe, to being a tire salesguy married with some kids living in Jersey.

If I had to pick between the two scenarios in the movie, I would pick the married guy with the family. He had many riches, just none of them measued in money.

If I wanted to live the ideal life, I'd be single and rich.

It is my duty to pass on the family name, so I have to become married and poor someday.

How is it that married couples live longer if there is so much stress? I never understood that.

The best defense I have, I guess, is to find a girl who is as daring as me.;)

Married and rich. Ask John Kerry.

count me in on the married and poor crowd.

i'm currently single but would like to be married someday.

i'm not sure if i am single AND poor right now though. I have no credit card debt, no student loans, i max out my 401k, i save another 10% into my vanguard mutual fund.
i guess i'm not poor but i feel poor right now since i have to bring my lunch to work everyday and think twice before buying non-essential things. my checking account is zero at the end of the month.

i suppose being poor and feeling poor are two different things.

Having lived both lifestyles (and a few others). Single and rich is the ONLY option.

Being poor is misery and being married along with it is miseryX2.

Those who claim that being married and poor suits them are deluded and need to have their medication levels checked.

Of course, my sig-other would probably disagree, but that's only because SHE'S the rich one and I'M the poor one in this relationship!

BTW, don't tell her I said any of this....., shhhh...., I think she's coming up stairs....., gotta go......

Good answer. Having money is a great thing, but if you've never experienced the richness of a loving family, you can't possibly answer this question with any merit...

...and I only remember being single and poor... :rolleyes: ...made it tough to land a mate in the first place! :p :p

Got her number? :D

You couldn't afford her........unless you're rich and single;) :D

Why can't we have another option....married and rich? I'd take that in a heartbeat!:D

I'll just use John Kerry's technique :p

It seems that all women want to get married one day. It is a sense of security. They do not like being alone, they need men to share their stress with.

With men, we don't want to be tied down to everyday life. The burden of children, the idea that our youth may be long past. With us, we never want to grow old. We never lose this mindset until the day we die.

Just me, citing the obvious again....:rolleyes:

I guess it depends on what you mean by "rich" and "poor"

If we are talking about Ozark mountain, beat your clothes on a rock by the crick, dirt floor poor, I'll take rich and single.

Otherwise I'm pretty happy being married and semi poor.

39 with a small buisness, probably right in the middle of middle class.

I would like to married and rich. LOL

Well, kinda. I'm looking forward at the "growing old" part, and looking back on the "tied down with Childeren" part.
The child raising years were tough. Very tough. I'm glad I'm thru it. But like any challenge in life, I'm glad it's done, but I'm also glad I did it. I'm a much better person than I was 25 years ago. I'm a person I wouldn't be, had I not gone thru the parenting years.
Growing old is scarey. Watching my folks get old, sick, and die, is no picnic, and I don't like the idea of doing it myself. But what the heck do ya do? It's inevitable. So, I'm just accepting losing my hair where I want it, gaining hair where I don't need it. The wife has definately lost her girlish figure, but darn it, I love her more now than 25 years ago. We have great sex, enjoy being together, hate being apart, and spend alot of time laughing at each others' "getting old" symptoms.:D
Life's a kick, eh?:cool:

Actually, I love kids -- kids are great! It's the wife part I struggle with......

There is a saying that children are the wealth of the poor, and presumably, now a days, about half the folks that have children are married........

Gosh.. children are that much of a drag to you guys? The joy of children cannot be measured in dollars and cents. Being married is great. Being single is also great. Both have their merits and drawbacks. And who says that being married is automatically equated with being poor?

Hee hee. I guess I kinda made it(raising kids) sound bad, didn't I? Naw. Years filled with fun, too. But it's just something that, when you get to the other side of the journey as I am, you look back and go "Whew!" with a wipe of the brow.:D It's work, no doubt about it. Hard work alot of the time. But the rewards...:cool:
There's nothing to take the place of having a 5 year old snuggle up in your lap and watch a fav cartoon together. Or the fun of teaching them to ride a bike. Or watching them recive their high school diploma. Or walking your oldest daughter down the aisle to her new hubby.
You guys can have your rich and single lifestyle. Take it. I don't want it.

I have a 6 year old nephew who never stops harassing me. My other nephews are merely toddlers.

My 6 year old nephew calls me "Uncle Scrooge".:D

I don't really dislike children, I am just thinking about how it would be to raise a kid like myself.:rolleyes:

I have mixed feelings...

On the one hand, $$ isn't everything, and it certainly doesn't buy happiness. Having kids can be a joy (I asume; haven't had any, although I do work with teenage girls in my Scout unit), and a life without someone can be very lonely.

On the other hand, being poor leads to a whole heck of a lot of stress. I spent the last week unsure if I was going to have enough food for this week. In addition, the rate of marriages ending in divorce is extremely high, and at least of what I've seen of divorce (family {including my parents}, movies, etc), it doesn't seem like the risk of going through that is worth taking the chance, even if you feel certain that she's "the one". There's also the overpopulartion factor and the fact that I'm not sure I want to contribute to that.

A year ago, I would have voted for "married and poor" without thinking twice, but I think I'm starting to lean towards the "single and rich" option...

The divorce issue...
Well, I suppose a defeatist perspective would keep us all away from alot of things in life.
There's alot of things to strain a marriage today that our parents and grand parents didn't face. So yes, I'd say careful selection of a mate is important. Even as careful as I was, we almost ended our marriage a few years ago. But the key factor is, we didn't! It was that careful selection that got us thru it.
I have no pat answers. I have lots of things I could give as advice, but may not be appropriate here. A lot of it has to do with my religion. (we have one of the lowest divorce rates in the country) But if 2 people go into it with their eyes open, I still feel they have a good chance. Watching my daughter getting married last summer was a tough thing, knowing what they have ahead of them. But they talked alot of things out first, and have good goals together. But their big mistake is not havinga common religion. I don't want to turn this into a religion discussion. But it is an important factor. If religion isn't a factor in your life, but is in the person you marry, or visa-versa, it will become a problem in the future. And so on.
I think a big mistake is this pre-nup agreement crap. Talk about putting a death sentance on a marriage! Don't get me going on that one:mad:

P.S. I see narwahl beat me to the punch here. but we agree on this point I see:cool:

It think it is all about sacrifice....

I think a successful marriage takes sacrifice (from both partners).

Being successful and becoming "rich" takes sacrifice too.

The hard part is deciding what, when and how much to sacrifice to keep a happy balance with it all.

To date, I've sacrificed to earn.....however, I am being drawn to wanting to sacrifice for another and sacrifice ever further for possible children. Hopefully, THEY'LL choose to sacrifice for me when I'm in diapers again :)

I know there are some good arguements "for" a pre-nup. But I see them as more a result of the times we live in. And I see them as almost giving permission for a marriage to fail. If a spouse is screwing the neighbor, what led up to it? That's the issue that needs to be addressed. Very seldom do I think that kind of thing happens, unless there's a root factor that should have been resolved alot earlier.
I don't know. I hear what your saying, and I know I don't make a real good case against a pre-nup. But in my mind they border on immoral. Guess it's my upbringing.

Naw. You're just making a living. My wife works at a mini-mart, and has to sell beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, even though they are all "against our religion".:D

I'm 50 and married for 28 of those years to a woman I have known since I was 15. We have a 9 yr old daughter. So, I don't have a lot of experience upon which to make my decision. However, if you asked me to give up either money or my wife, he answer would be a no brainer. I'd give up the money in a hearbeat.
This from a functional atheist.
Only in the South is it necessary to justify long term relationships by appeal to God.

Not saying it's a nessecary(I can't spell anymore:mad: ) factor. Not at all. I've known plenty of athiests that have had a long & happy(?) marriage.
But I will say it's an important factor that increases the odds of a marriage lasting. I'm sure there are plenty of stats out there to back this up.

I think this topic is a disguise for the question: “Would you rather or rather not have a significant other?”

Personally I'm not a fan of marriage. Marriage creates a legal obligation where only a commitment need exist. Marriage is all about security for the weaker party, and of course the children.

Almost anyone would rather have a significant other than not. There is a type of happiness in companionship that doesn’t exist being alone. OTOH, some folk are not well adapted to commitment or marriage or companionship, for that matter. For folks of this type, there is still a vast world of options which aren't limited by, or to emotional or financial well being.

So is the argument that belief in God makes people stay in unhappy marriages? How exactly does belief in God keep the divorce rate down?

I think Tracy is right. Marriage as a legal or religious relationship is quite different than long term companionship.
I was married in a church. At one time in my life, I gave thought to a divorce, not because I was unhappy in the relationship, but because I no longer thought the church or the state should santion my personal relationship decisions.

Sorry Kerry. I'm not getting sucked into one of your endless debates:D The info's out there. Dig it up.;)

I'll have my cake and eat it too.

My daughter is moving on to medical school and my son starts college next year. Both love their Mercedeses and I gave them restored SLs as graduation presents.

I wasn't broke when I was single, by any means. Neither was my wife. Now my wife is the top wage earner in the family and I never had a problem with that. I used to be the top wage earner, but my wife became more successful at what she does, and all power to her.

We pay a ****load of taxes, but don't see ourselves as rich. But I'm happy and married. So, there you go. Married does not necessarily mean miserable and broke.

Rats, Rick won't take the bait. Anyone else?

I think that part of the reason religion keeps the divorce rate down, is that most religions in the US support the patriarchal status quo. This keeps women in subservient roles in their marriage with metaphysical sanctions. Women, freed from those metaphysical sanctions, are more likely to seek a divorce from an unhappy marriage. Men on the other hand, have always been more likely to choose affairs over divorce.

JenTay,
You forgot to mention your golf game....

i play the cheap courses where the greens are diseased and the sand traps have no sand. just kidding.

Holy cow!:eek: Is that what a college education teaches you? :D

Ok. I'll feed ya a little bit here. At least for my particular faith, it's the common-goal factor. For us, marriage is more than a piece of paper, a legal contract, a way to get benifits.
It's an eternal thing. Our families extend beyond this life. If we mess it up here, we won't have it there. That's a very, very simplified version of it. But it's called "motivation". It gives us a reason to make it work, beyond what you see in the here and now. Not just give in, and say "g'bye" at the first hint of trouble, as is becoming common in the world(or at least the U.S.) If a marriage couple is miserable, they need to at least try and work it out. Get counseling. The only real cause for divorce is selfishness, on the part of one partner or the other, or both. Religous values are a basis for lifestyle that has no place for selfishness. Unfortunately, with all the promise of "wealth and happiness" we see on TV everyday, religion takes a back seat. We want that new car. That new house. It takes precidence over what really matters.
Hooboy. I'll quit here. This is gonna get tore to shreds I know. I'm kinda random with my thoughts, and it gets me in trouble with you more "edumacated" guys.:D

As far as religion being a factor in keeping marriages together, as far as the Catholics go, and I was raised a strict Catholic, The result of divorce is usually a direct trip to hell. My mother stayed in 4 different marriages that all had their rather severe problems, and she refused to bail out. Just so happens that all 4 of the husbands died on her. I married at the tender age of 20, and am still married to the same gal, with twin sons, now 38, and 5 grandkids. Would I do it all over? In a heartbeat. She is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I suspect I would have met a quick and untimely end without her to give me a little guidence and encouragement from time to time.:D

Here is my 2 cents worth.

If I could do it all over again, I would stay single and just live off the money that I have. Marriage it too expensive and our divorce laws make it costly to leave.

If a women loves you enough to marry you, she should marry you only for you and should agree to a Pre-nup.

At my age I have learned that you can't ever satisfy a woman. She will always want more than she has no matter how much better off she is than her friends or family.

Staying single and having a companion is the best thing to do.
That way, you won't be so lonely and the excitement will be with you much longer than if you were to get married. And if things don't work out, just find a new one. You won't have to give her half or pay any alimony.

What if you want children?

Narwhal:
I don't think I wrote that it had anything to do with ignorance, only that it had something to do with Southern culture.
I'll take it as an insult that you think I'm Ward Cleaver.

I think the unselfishness, and sanctions idea make sense but they aren't incompatible with my explanation either. Selflessness and sanctions are applied unevenly in societies in which men and women are not equal. Patriarchal marriages tend to give more benefits to men than they give to women, so women end up being the more selfless partner in those kinds of marriage relationships.
But religion combined with egalitarian marriage relationships would also seem to have an ameliorating effect in times of conflict.

I think there are plenty of people having kids without getting married. Yes, I know kids need both parents in a loving home environment. That's why I would not have kids unless I really felt that my partner was one that I could live with and be content.

You took the words right out of my mouth!!

I'd pick married and poor. But looking at "assets", you can't put an amount on a loving family. You will always have them. A single rich guy could lose his shirt, then he'd be completely empty.

Oh yeah, I recently turned 39 and am currently single.