There was an old fellow who used to buff the floors after hours at a bar I worked at in college; he was quite the character. I'd ask him "Whad'ya know?" each time I'd see him. Each day came a new answer; two of the more memorable were "It takes a lot of wood to burn a wet dog," and "it takes a big dog to weigh a ton."

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1992 300D 2.5T
1980 Euro 300D (sadly, sold)
1998 Jetta TDI, 132K "Rudy"
1974 Triumph TR6
1999 Saab 9-5 wagon (wife's)

Somebody I used to work with here used to say, "I haven't had this much fun since I got my head caught in the door!"

People would walk over to his desk sometimes and say, "Ed, can you help me out?" to which he would reply, "I'd be glad to, which way did you came in?"

I miss Ed. . . .

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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century

OBK #55

1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold
Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold
The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold
Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles
2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles
2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles

On being broke: "If it cost a nickel to $h1t I'd have to throw up!"
On being stupid: "You kids need glass bellybuttons for Christmas so you can see where you're going."
Upon viewing a bad situation: "This is as f'd up as a Chinese typewriter." (No disrespect meant here)
On workplace chaos: "I've seen monkey $h1t fights at the zoo that were more organized."

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1983 M-B 240D-Gone too.
1976 M-B 300D-Departed.

"Good" is the worst enemy of "Great".

Mind if I borrow the workplace one for the next staff meeting?

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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process."
2012 SLK 350
1987 420 SEL

Not at all! All humor is meant to be shared. My personal favorite is the first one.

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1983 M-B 240D-Gone too.
1976 M-B 300D-Departed.

"Good" is the worst enemy of "Great".