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#1
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When Insults Had Class
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
--Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend. . . If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill . . .followed by Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." --Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating "He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!" Lady Astor also once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Sir Winston, you're drunk!" To which, Winston replied, "Yes, Madam, I am. And you're ugly! But in the morning, I will be sober. And you will still be ugly!" |
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The next to last one is one of my all time favorite W Churchill quotations. Thanks. Those were all great.
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" We have nothing to fear but the main stream media itself . . . ."- Adapted from Franklin D Roosevelt for the 21st century OBK #55 1998 Lincoln Continental - Sold Max 1984 300TD 285,000 miles - Sold The Dee8gonator 1987 560SEC 196,000 miles - Sold Orgasmatron - 2006 CLS500 90,000 miles 2002 C320 Wagon 122,000 miles 2016 AMG GTS 12,000 miles |
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I was waiting for a thread to inject his
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO7S2loSQKI |
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Great list.
I will add another. Said Harry Trueman to Winston Churchill of Churchill's successor Atlee (I think), trying to be generous..."He's a very modest man"....answered Churchill..."And he has so much to be modest about!" Tom W
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[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC] ..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis. |
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Some of the crude modern ones are pretty funny too.
For example,
I heard a Judge say, "The doctor squeezed the forceps too hard when he pulled him out" ..
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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ... 1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold) 2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp 1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k 2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold) |
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#7
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Dorothy Parker
Member of dinner party, about Clare Boothe Luce: "She's always kind to her inferiors."
Dorothy: "And where does she find them?" .
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* * -- Paul W. (The Benzadmiral) ('03 Buick Park Avenue, charcoal/cream) Formerly: '97 C230, smoke silver/parchment; '86 420SEL, anthracite/light grey; '84 280CE (W123), dark blue/palomino |
#8
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Dorothy Parker was a hoot
Another one of her quotes:
"I like a martini, two at the most, three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host" And I think this is hers as well - a classic toast: "Here's to the men we love, and here's to the men that love us. But the men that we love aren't the men that love us, so to hell with them and here's to Us!" One of my own: "There are two types of funerals: those you attend to pay your respects, and those you attend to make sure the sucker is really dead." |
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and another by miss dorothy "The first requisite for a good party is good liquor and plenty of it, good liquor is not cheap and chep liquor is not good."
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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process." 2012 SLK 350 1987 420 SEL |
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Quote:
All her bios report this story, that sometime around 1929-1931 (they're never exact), Dorothy's friends were worried about how much she was drinking. So, the anecdote says, she went to Alcoholics Anonymous, and came back full of praise for the organization and its goals. Robert Benchley: "Are you going to join?" Dorothy: "Certainly not. They want me to stop now." The problem with this anecdote? AA wasn't founded until 1935. Oh, well. There are some stories that should be true, even if they aren't, and this is a prime example. .
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* * -- Paul W. (The Benzadmiral) ('03 Buick Park Avenue, charcoal/cream) Formerly: '97 C230, smoke silver/parchment; '86 420SEL, anthracite/light grey; '84 280CE (W123), dark blue/palomino |
#11
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"I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be glad to make an exception" -- Groucho Marx
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1984 300TD |
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I never should have switched from scotch to martinis. Bogart.
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"It's normal for these things to empty your wallet and break your heart in the process." 2012 SLK 350 1987 420 SEL |
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Don't know who said it first but...
A good argument ender:
"As a gentleman I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man."
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1983 M-B 240D-Gone too. 1976 M-B 300D-Departed. "Good" is the worst enemy of "Great". |
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My favorite: "Oh yeah?!"
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The kids' favorites: "Yeah, right" and "Whatever". Of course I usually heap derision on them after one of those. "Oh, that was brilliant and original! You should write a book."
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1983 M-B 240D-Gone too. 1976 M-B 300D-Departed. "Good" is the worst enemy of "Great". |
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