Lifestyle changes - Page 50 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

barry12345 · #**736** 06-08-2022, 10:37 PM

Most families have an issue or two in them. We have some difficulty with one son in law. Of the four we have. To us he has a low grade paranoid type condition. His son and him do not get along well either.

There were a huge amount of problems in the family he came from. I suggested originally that the daughter should re consider getting married to him.

I never ever wanted one of our children to come back and say. Why did you not tell me?

vwnate1 · #**737** 06-09-2022, 01:23 AM

I hear you .

I've known more than a few really weird people over my long life, I remember one who was clearly batshytecrazy, after he got out he killed both parents with an axe....

Whew .

I know my family isn't normal (God I hope not) and I didn't think I'd want children but my ex said I'd be fine and our son tells me I'm a great father having taught him to be independent, resourceful and so on....

t walgamuth · #**738** 06-16-2022, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by barry12345

Most families have an issue or two in them. We have some difficulty with one son in law. Of the four we have. To us he has a low grade paranoid type condition. His son and him do not get along well either.

There were a huge amount of problems in the family he came from. I suggested originally that the daughter should re consider getting married to him.

I never ever wanted one of our children to come back and say. Why did you not tell me?

I should have taken your stance and warned my #2 daughter, but who knew? He was charming but a controlling alcoholic who fools everybody perhaps except my Mrs. Unfortunately she has three children by him.

barry12345 · #**739** 06-16-2022, 04:46 PM

Well Tom there is no assurance they will heed any warnings anyways. His grandfather raised him and did a number on him as well. Constantly fed him money. Daughter did mention he gets depressed if he does not have money to spend all the time as well.

I did tell her when starting out it is often the case you just do not have money all the time. It got to the point the wife was always quietly giving the daugher money. I knew it and she knew I did. I said nothing.

I did realise the best course to stop it was to talk him into the refrigeration trade. Well that did stop the daughter getting money from the wife.

t walgamuth · #**740** 06-16-2022, 04:48 PM

Lucky you!

barry12345 · #**741** 06-16-2022, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t walgamuth

Lucky you!

Oh it gets still better. I purchased a 3.18 acre lot with an old house on it. For 25K. I said pay me back and you might see a new house there for materials only. Eventually it was time to build it. He wanted a house as large as we have. I said show me the money. You and the daughter pick out a plan of something around 1300 square feet. He was to help with construction.

As soon as the basement is in he gets a sore back. to shorten the story up. now that he has his ticket for refrigration. It is now time to pay me for materials.

Plus when i let them move in the condition was you remove the old house. It is four years later now and if I have it done it will cost you quite a lot.

His employer owns many companies. Offered to take care of it. Brought in one of their excavators and dump trucks. No charges by him for the removal and final grading work. i built the new house right behind the old one. So I never got a real view from more than 10 feet of what it really looked like.

Also now is the time to pay me. I am not going to hold the morgage as I do not want it tied up in our estates. I held off until he completed his refrigeration ticket.

I will give the devil his due. The son in law is a really good employee for the company he is with. The employer wants to hang on to him and this is the reason I think he did what he did.

Actually the employer also brought in another employee to handle some preliminaries for the landscaping. I stayed clear of it as his employer seems very skilled.. That may also be an understatement. The only thing i did was set up my best laser to check the grading.

I have to stop or i could write a book.

t walgamuth · #**742** 06-17-2022, 07:26 AM

Your thoughts are always interesting and thoughtful.

barry12345 · #**743** 06-17-2022, 04:46 PM

Tom, you are more than kind. The importance of family and attempting to keep the relationships working. Is very important. Many of us will depend on the decisions they make as we get really old as well.

I see my generation or what is left of it a byproduct of massive transitional periods. I often talk to older people that are essentially just cast adrift. Their contemporaries they knew are gone. They also have no effective families.

Yet once again another new era is coming upon us. I am cognizant of this as I have lived through two of them. Things will be much different when it is fully established. It seems to be a byproduct of a heavy inflationary period. A precursor to the change basically.

It has to arrive one way or another with all the growing distortions.

vwnate1 · #**744** 06-19-2022, 10:44 PM

I too think you're doing a great job .

I'm trying hard with my two 15 Y.O. foster boys, I'll be updating my thread about that soon .

t walgamuth · #**745** 06-20-2022, 09:40 AM

If you mean me, your work with the foster children is by far a greater service to them and all of us than my efforts to raise kids with all the advantages they have.

If you meant Barry, I agree!

vwnate1 · #**746** 06-20-2022, 11:46 AM

It's nice to see some are doing the right thing .

barry12345 · #**747** 06-20-2022, 10:36 PM

Many foster parents almost deserve a medal. For the issues they try to cope with all too often.

Almost all these children age out of the system. Having little to no family at all.

If nothing else it indicates the need and importance of family structures. At least today. Some effort is expended to see if a bad home situation can be helped. So the children do not have to enter the system.

I also suspect being a foster parent gets harder and harder with the years. As society changes values.

Nate taking them on his long drives expands their horizons hopefully.

vwnate1 · #**748** 06-21-2022, 02:32 PM

Thank you, I try hard to expand their horizons as much as possible, because they typically come from very humble beginnings they often are afraid to try new things or places, some times I have to tell them 'we're going, get ready' and after they're all smiles and asking to do it again .

Demarkis took the good attitude of "anything new should be investigated" to heart, he tries food he doesn't know and is always ready to go for a drive or a multi day field trip .

How some manage I don't know , it's really heartbreaking at times .

They're home again and had a pretty good time overall in Indio ~ Demarkis was crushed when his eye glasses were taken , I hope I've taught him not to give up .

t walgamuth · #**749** 07-10-2022, 10:27 AM

My legs are getting stronger now and I am beginning to feel a little agile. I put my legs at 95% or a llttle more.

vwnate1 · #**750** 07-12-2022, 11:07 PM

Sounds good to me .

My knees were smashed in my last Moto crash, I didn't let them replace them then (the surgeons wanted to) and they're okay now, a little stiff sometimes when I stand up but I'm walking fine, I have no idea how odd I look when I'm walking though .