Hello Suginami, why must your mother-in-law wait 90 days to receive the ashes?

I'd also be interested in knowing why Buddhism is always connected with death and Shinto is usually associated with birth and positive things.

I'm sure you'll make the most of your remaining time in Japan. All the best to you and your family.

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巧言令色, 鲜矣仁!

Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. ---Confucius

My sympathies to you and your family, Paul

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1991 560 SEC AMG, 199k <---- 300 hp 10:1 ECE euro HV ...

1995 E 420, 170k "The Red Plum" (sold)

2015 BMW 535i xdrive awd Stage 1 DINAN, 6k, <----364 hp

1967 Mercury Cougar, 49k

2013 Jaguar XF, 20k <----340 hp Supercharged, All Wheel Drive (sold)

My condolences Paul...

Soto Zen funeral rites are the standard for all Buddhist Schools in Japan and most funerals are still Buddhist.

Shintoism and life? Other than it was a state religion and was more ingrained with daily life, no idea.

If you learn more about Buddhism, namely Zen, it isn't associated with death.

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'07 Yukon 2500
'13 Subaru Outback 3.6R
'13 Orbea Carpe 9-speed

Currently Benzless
Formerly: 300TD, S600, E55, 560SEL

---= The forest breathes, listen.
-Native American elder

If you learn more about Buddhism, namely Zen, it isn't associated with death.[/quote]

while i am not a student of buddhism (nor do i play one on tv) i would suggest learning about the "four noble truths" (excuse me if i am not totally precise) and also must mention the american "ram das" aka richard alpert, if only to emphasize the title of his most famous work be here now, which is a wonderful goal (tho not easily achievable) for one's existence.

(to all those with greater knowledge, my apologies. please jump in and correct/improve upon my humble, simplistic characterizations.)

Hello, The Swede.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/14/world/asia/14japan.html

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巧言令色, 鲜矣仁!

Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue. ---Confucius

Paul, of course you and your family have my sympathy and condolences. On the subject of funeral practices, I think we in the US tend to gloss-over the reality of death: I think it would be very instructive for people to see the cremated bones, for instance. Birth and death are messy, unpleasant processes, and our society tries to hide/deny that unpleasantness.

I work at a funeral home/cemetery combination. As a general rule, the family is in a mad rush to get away from the graveside, so they can go to the luncheon or get a beer at the VFW. I did, however, have a family we served recently, who wanted to participate...the grown sons of the deceased took off their suit coats, rolled up their sleeves, and helped close the grave. Truth be known, they slowed down the process more than they helped, but it was important for them to be part of the process.

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2002 Ford ZX2
2 x 2013 Honda Civics

Sorry about the loss Sug.

Dave, I know exactly what you mean. In my wife's very rural family the funeral process is much more personal. They (the women) wash and dress the corpse, for example. The men used to dig the hole but now a relative rents a backhoe to dig the trench. But all of the men who feel so moved take a shovel and back-fill. It involves an almost-ritual of a man taking off his jacket and tie and passing it to a nearby man and then shoveling until he breaks a sweat. It's pretty interesting. I think these old customs will die-out in my generation.

We have sterilized and mechanized life such that few people touch the important transitions. It increasingly reminds me of Huxley's "Brave New World" description of death in his dystopia.

B

PS Paul, I apologize for the digression, but I hope it's appropriate.

Man the man rest in peace.

Your story rotated my stomach many times.

I almost barfed myself. (Liquors and sushi!) I love sushi too!

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2006 BMW M5 "Heidi" @ 109,000 miles
2005 MBZ C55 AMG "Lorelai" @ 165,000 miles
1991 MBZ 300E "Benzachino II" @ 165,000 miles
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(On the hunt for a good used M103 engine as of 6/10/23, PM me if you have one to sell!)

We all made it back home safely the other day. Six days is a short period of time to travel to and from Japan.

Thank you for all of your kind comments.

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Paul S.

2001 E430, Bourdeaux Red, Oyster interior.
79,200 miles.

1973 280SE 4.5, 170,000 miles. 568 Signal Red, Black MB Tex. "The Red Baron".

That's a good question. I assumed it was some sort of processing thing, but maybe there's a cultural reason. I'll ask my wife today and she if she knows.

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Paul S.

2001 E430, Bourdeaux Red, Oyster interior.
79,200 miles.

1973 280SE 4.5, 170,000 miles. 568 Signal Red, Black MB Tex. "The Red Baron".