~!OFFICIAL!~ CHUCK NORRIS FACT THREAD - POST FACTS RIGHT HERE!

[jplinville]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris played Russian Rulet with a full loaded gun..., and won!

[cmbdiesel]

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

[cjlipps]

Chuck Norris trims his beard with a shard of glass wedged in his foreskin.

[The Clk Man]

I am Chuck Norris' red headed stepchild.

[cmbdiesel]

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Space is continiously expanding because other galaxies are running away from Chuck Norris.

They were going to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore but the rock wasn't hard enough.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the ***** out of it

Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar.

[Skid Row Joe]

Originally Posted by Sev

~OFFICIAL!~ CHUCK NORRIS FACT THREAD - POST FACTS RIGHT HERE!

I lived next door to CHUCK NORRIS'S Son, Greg in North Dallas, TX., 30 years ago.

[Sev]

chuck norris is luke skywalker's real father.
luke skywalker lived on the planet tattoine
therefore i conclude your previous profession was a moisture farmer

[Sev]

"I am Chuck Norris' red headed stepchild."

correction: you are Chuck Norris' read BEARDED stepchild

Chuck Norris' babies are born bearded

[cmac2012]

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Here's a Chuck Norris fact: his movie "Breaker! Breaker!" (1975) was baaad, cartoonishly bad. Here was the info on Dishnet about it:

A Zen trucker (Chuck Norris) frees his brother from a speed trap with help from fellow truckers and a CB alert.

Ah, one of those Zen trucker movies. I watched it while I was surfing the web and I still wasted my time.

[MattBelliveau]

'Nuff said.

[benhogan]

His middle name is "Maurice"

[The Clk Man]

I had an addition built onto my house last year and Chuck Norris drop kicked the foundation into place.

[Sev]

CHuck Norris does not need to do a 'drop kick'. That would imply that Chuck Norris would need to jump. Chuck Norris does not jump--he does a roundhouse kick, and that causes the world to shake, simulating what would normally be a jump for a normal person

[truckinik]

Chuck Norris for President!!!
Chuck Norris originally had red hair, 'til it turned gray...

[The Clk Man]

Chuck Norris, my father, drop kicked all three of my kids into existence. And they all was born with beards, even my daughter.