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| View Poll Results: Chuck Norris | |||
| Is the greatest man to have ever lived |
   
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2 | 11.11% |
| Is not a man, it is a force of nature |
  
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8 | 44.44% |
| doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full. |
  
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1 | 5.56% |
| never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck” |
  
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3 | 16.67% |
| doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead |
  
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6 | 33.33% |
| oes not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. |
  
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2 | 11.11% |
| is Luke Skywalker’s real father |
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0 | 0% |
| invented water, but is not comprised of it |
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0 | 0% |
| doesn’t need to swallow when eating food |
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1 | 5.56% |
| Soylent Green is made out of Chuck Norris. Or is it the other way around??? |
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2 | 11.11% |
| Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll | |||
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#1
09-06-2010, 01:35 AM
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~!OFFICIAL!~ CHUCK NORRIS FACT THREAD - POST FACTS RIGHT HERE!
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably
-If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. -Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris -Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own -Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris -Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. -Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
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i know Jim Smith. i don't actually know him, but I know of him
http://imageshack.com/a/img923/6201/RQ1H6A.jpg 
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#2
09-06-2010, 09:25 AM
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I always got a kick from Chuck Norris quotes.
To Chuck Norris, a zombie apocalypse is just a bonus round. Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris Chuck Norris is the only man who can stab you with a basketball Hitler didn't kill himself because they were losing the war. He killed himself because Chuck Norris joined the army Chuck Norris doesn't have Twitter, because he's already following you. Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle Chuck Norris CAN finish reading the "The Never Ending Story". Chuck Norris once practiced roundhouse kicks for an entire day...the area where he practiced is now called Tornado Alley. Chuck Norris' glare is so tough, you go blind from staring back MAN (man) noun: 1. Chuck Norris 2. no one else Only 3 things are certain in this world. Taxes, Death, and Chuck Norris.
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1984 300SD Turbo Diesel 150,000 miles OBK member #23 (\__/) (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination
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#3
09-06-2010, 10:20 AM
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Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris Kills people!
Up in the sky! It's a bird, It's a plane, No it's Superman and Chuck Norris is up there kicking his @ss!
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"I have no convictions ... I blow with the wind, and the prevailing wind happens to be from Vichy" Current Monika '74 450 SL BrownHilda '79 280SL FoxyCleopatra '99 Chevy Suburban Scarlett 2014 Jeep Cherokee Krystal 2004 Volvo S60 Gone '74 Jeep CJ5 '97 Jeep ZJ Laredo Rudolf ‘86 300SDL Bruno '81 300SD Fritzi '84 BMW '92 Subaru '96 Impala SS '71 Buick GS conv '67 GTO conv '63 Corvair conv '57 Nomad 
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#4
09-06-2010, 11:17 AM
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there is no sign of life.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom, because there is no protection from Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live
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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST 1983 300SD - 305000 1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000 1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000  https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif
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#5
09-06-2010, 11:38 AM
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I think that Chuck Norris kicked the universe into existence.
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For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get. For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.
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#7
09-06-2010, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
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TC Current stable: - 2004 Mazda RALLYWANKEL - 2007 Saturn sky redline - 2004 Explorer...under surgery. Past: 135i, GTI, 300E, 300SD, 300SD, Stealth
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#8
09-06-2010, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris quotes are fatal in and of themselves
__________________
i know Jim Smith. i don't actually know him, but I know of him
http://imageshack.com/a/img923/6201/RQ1H6A.jpg
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#9
09-06-2010, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
__________________
For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get. For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.
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#10
09-06-2010, 06:14 PM
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When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. Chuck Norris played Russian Rulet with a full loaded gun..., and won!
__________________
 1987 560SL85,000 miles Meet on the level, leave on the square. Great words to live by Were we directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should soon want bread. - Thomas Jefferson: Autobiography, 1821.
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#11
09-07-2010, 12:37 AM
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Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST 1983 300SD - 305000 1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000 1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000 https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif
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#13
09-07-2010, 11:53 AM
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I am Chuck Norris' red headed stepchild.
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For the Saved, this world is the worst it will ever get. For the unSaved, this world is the best it will ever get.
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#14
09-14-2010, 04:51 PM
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Space is continiously expanding because other galaxies are running away from Chuck Norris. They were going to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore but the rock wasn't hard enough. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the ***** out of it Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a klondike bar.
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On some nights I still believe that a car with the fuel gauge on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio. - HST 1983 300SD - 305000 1984 Toyota Landcruiser - 190000 1994 GMC Jimmy - 203000 https://media.giphy.com/media/X3nnss8PAj5aU/giphy.gif
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#15
09-14-2010, 05:17 PM
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Quote:
__________________
'06 E320 CDI '17 Corvette Stingray Vert
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