Its pretty easy to me - name one thing that brings as much/more immediate satisfaction as:
-Orgasm
-drunkedness/drug impairment/being 'high'
-Being a solo/small group performing act on stage with a large and energized audience (?)
-'Cheating death'

you could name lots of thing (seeing others happy, helping others, feeding a hungry person, creating great(?) art, birthing a child, fufilling a greater need, drastically changing the world or local are for the better...) but none of them are as immediate or as 'euphoric' as my short list above.

If you agree that this is true (I'm sure ive missed something...)- then you are fighting years of evolution (?) that says "do this now, because it feels good now".
Maybe you can externally influence someone's actions ('she'll get pregnant' or 'you'll get hungover/arrested' or "If you try that and get caught, you are getting excommunicated').

My approach also explains why some women do dumb stuff as well (?).

Maybe this is the answer you seek - if you want men to be as risk-averse as women, change their biology to be more like women (fewer orgasms, greater consequences for inebriation, ability to bear children... This has its own drawbacks, but maybe some people are doing this on their own...right now...

(I said 'maybe', I'm not advocating for anything in this email, just explaining how I see the rationale.)

imo (I'm not medically trained) any attempt to thwart these urges with hormones/medicine is likely to be a temporary solution at best. or at worst - some other unintended consequence that happens when we start throwing chemicals into peoples bodies...

Thats all I got (and I -do- have teenaged boys in the house...)

__________________
2009 Kia Sedona
2009 Honda Odyssey EX-L
12006 Jetta Pumpe Duse
(insert Mercedes here)

Husband, Father, sometimes friend =)

So far the short list seems to be:

Peak hormone release beginning around 17 and continuing high for about 10 years

Brain not quite fully developed for rational thinking, not thinking about the consequences

Lack of experience

Peer group influence, showing off in front of crowd

Growing rate of alcohol and bad drug use due to peer pressure, helps remove some of the immature inhibitions.

Education and family discussions seem to help with better decisions

Some of my regrets when young:

- falling in lust with an older classmate, lots of moonlight episodes in an alfalfa field with the comfort of the rear seat bottom pulled from 51 Chrysler Windsor. Big like a sofa. Lost my long time perfect girl friend due to this.

- Endangering my life and classmates by driving 110mph in Chevy V8 powered 34 Ford Convertible. Poor brakes and drive train plus convertible top and rumble seat. Lucked out. Some classmates had serious accidents with their cars.

- Driving like Mario Andretti in my BMW's the few times I was buzzed on alcohol. Really lucked out, no accidents or close calls.

We used to call this thinking with the wrong head. Its a problem for men of any age though as the testosterone gets lower it is less so.

Some times I see a younger woman giving me the eyeball and I think, "Oh she likes me" then I think I'm old enough to be her father....now grandfather.

Then I think of the other thing I have heard..."There's no fool like an old fool!"

__________________
[SIGPIC] Diesel loving autocrossing grandpa Architect. 08 Dodge 3/4 ton with Cummins & six speed; I have had about 35 benzes. I have a 39 Studebaker Coupe Express pickup in which I have had installed a 617 turbo and a five speed manual.[SIGPIC]

..I also have a 427 Cobra replica with an aluminum chassis.

Agree on the old fool part.

I thought I had found the perfect woman for me about 32 years ago.

Movie star pretty
106 pounds
did over an hour of exercise a day
great cook, perfect housekeeping
great traveling companion
loved sex, possibly more than I did. I remember more than once circling our condo on the nearby freeways to give her time to finish what she started on the way home after dinner.
great family

But life with her was continual peaks and valleys. Several days of bliss followed by 2-3 days of pathological jealousy. I couldn't talk to any woman except her and her mother.
Couldn't talk to her sisters or my sister-in-law. Her face would turn purple and I didn't have peace for 2-3 days at a time. Finally broke up with her when she gave me Sxxx at the hospital while my mom was there for her last days. Seven year relationship cost a lot of dollars, but the emotional cost was way more. Took me five years before I wanted to be with another woman.

Used to drive a Range Rover for a few years. Actually had women follow me and try to get my attention. Once while driving cross country in my almost new red 78 300CD, I stopped in a small town in Alabama. While buying a few things at a store an attractive young woman/girl came up to me and asked where I was travelling to. I told her and she actually asked if she could go with me. Reminded me of the 1962 movie Lolita. Definitely was tempted but luckily declined.

But that stopped as I got into my late 50's. After that I had to hang $100 bills out of my shirt pocket. :-)

Now I'm attracted to good cooks and peaceful companions. Can't stand the drama and baggage so many people bring with them.

It appears men do foolish and ill considered things because nature has hard wired us to do so in order to perpetuate the race .

So what if Bobby dies after getting Rose preggers in the back seat ? .

There's always plenty more men and women .......

I appreciate the thoughts and comments here, I too had the *perfect* and to me most beautiful woman I've ever had in my mid to late 30's but her endless jealousy and hostile world view put the kibosh on it after some years, I still greatly miss many aspects of her, we thought the same most of the time, the sex was the best I've ever had, she was good with money and a better housekeeper than I, a great cook too....

She even knew how to drive a stick shift .

I'm thinking about beginning a new thread, maybe it belongs here :

Has anyone here ever dated / married / tangled with an actual Nymphomaniac or sex addict ? .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Propagate the species. Where is Dr Freud when we need him?

THANK YOU ! .

You remembered the word I was searching for .

As far as Dr. Freud, I imagine he's chatting with Dr. Ruth......

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Just laughing to myself after reading your comments.

Women like that are probably just as addictive as cocaine. Definitely hated to not have that joy anymore. Self pleasuring is not as good, unless I'm really happy with a repair I've done. :-)


It's easy to think that we are more than just animals. Continuing the species is what we are made for. It's no wonder that levels of violence and mating use some of the same hormones and receptors. If there is competition, the biggest, strongest, best looking, best provider usually gets the female.

One cute, to me, joke is: Two bulls, one young and one old, were looking down the hill towards a group of cows. The young one said ' Let's run down and get us one each '. The old bull replied ' Let's walk, and have them all '.

Yes we are but we're far more....... uh, ? advanced ? than most of the animal kingdom .

I could tell some stories about women and the foolish things I've done .

Luckily I didn't like cocaine nor other drugs ~ I didn't like how I wasn't able to switch it off when I wanted , I can do that with most other things .

From the 1960's : "sure kid, that's why they call it DOPE" .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better

Didn't know much about Freud.. looked him up and found this:

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/why-did-freud-see-human-nature-as-being-motivated-solely-by-instincts-for-pleas

In the article it quoted someone named Frankl as saying:

"In between stimulus and response there is a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Pretty powerful statement, to me, concerning what it is to be ' human '.

Summary of Frankl and description of his book ' Man's search for meaning '

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/206272/mans-search-for-meaning-by-viktor-e-frankl/9780807000007/teachers-guide/#:~:text=Frankl's%20Man's%20Search%20for%20Meaning,endure%20and%20overcome%20harrowing%20experiences.

“Allegedly” is the operative word.

Think of the worst things that men do in women then consider that there is balance in nature. Women are just as bad as men.

__________________
Te futueo et caballum tuum

1986 300SDL, 362K
1984 300D, 138K

Good to see some here are clearly thinking about the deeper subject matter .

__________________
-Nate
1982 240D 408,XXX miles
Ignorance is the mother of suspicion and fear is the father

I did then what I knew how to do ~ now that I know better I do better