Like I stated Pot tends to be a social drug.............I'll bet his friends, the ones he hangs with were doing it too. I would make sure they are never unsupervised......or at least talk with their parents.

As a teen a good kid will do things he normally wouldn't do in the company of said "Friends". I'm not so old I don't remember the pressure friends can exert.

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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

No doubt. The so called friend who introduced him is a kid from school whom I have never met.

That makes it hard to supervise his dealings with him.

He has been suspended from school for 10 days. They are also requesting that he be expelled so I will have to go and kiss some major ass in the morning.

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Enough about me, how are you doing?

I agree w/cscmc1, let him be in custody for a couple then when he returns let the police violate HIS space not you. Then, advise against military school......know of a couple of survivors of that trip,deep resentment of the whole groove. After the dust settles and it will, BE THERE for your kid let him discover the ultimate "gang" is his/her family. Da King

Hey Plantman,
I'm coming in on this late too but I think I can offer some advice from experience.
I started out smoking pot in High School (cigarettes too). Mostly from peer pressure, maybe a little lack of self esteem too. That quickly graduated to other stuff, mainly alcohol at first. Then other drugs. I'm not going to name them all but I did a lot. I wound up getting help and getting into recovery. But I still have battle scars from those days namely a lost college education, failed marriage, lack of social skills. But the people who didn't make it into recovery 90% of them are dead. Yes you read it right DEAD, as in buried in the ground.
If you think this is going to stop with pot your seriously mistaken. And I agree that he should be professionally evaluated but it sounds to me like he's playing you like a fiddle. I know, I did the exact same thing with my parents. YOU are the adult and the parent. You should not be wworried about hurting his feelings. He needs guidance with love from you. You can worry about being friends later.
YOu need to know where your son is at all times. You also need to know who he's with and what he's doing. If this means he has to check in every hour or two so be it. If he says he can't get him a cell phone.
I have a friend who's son checks in with her every hour by phone when he's out at night. If he doesn't call she does. I found this to be kind of extreme but she says all the mothers do it. And if he doesn't he's in trouble. My favorite punishment is removing the bedroom door.
My advice to you would be "Get on him!" and don't let up. Don't take the "I'm going to sit back and see what happens" attitude. You already tried that, it doesn't work.
I wish you luck, it's not going to be easy.

Danny

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I just saw this thread today and so I was wondering how your son is doing now. I went through a lot of really rough times when I was that age. I got into drugs, go arrested, addicted, etc. When I turned 19, I went through a Christian drug rehab program called Teen Challenge. It turned my life around completely. That was 33 years ago. Life has been pretty good since then.

Unfortunately, I made life a living hell for my parents for several years before things turned around. I wish you well in your efforts with your son. I can't be easy to go through what you're going through. Good luck.

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I know how you feel. I've been there. The advice to be a parent and not just a friend is correct but don't become a tyrant. Kids make mistakes. I did-you did. The trick is to let him make those mistakes without permanent adverse consequences. As someone on this forum says: "Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment."

I did a two step. First, considerable severe short term punishment (they have a short memory). Then, and you can work on the details during that short term, spend bunches of time with him, in lots of small pieces (their attention span is short) and sustain that. That constant communication keeps his head from getting to far away. My almost 30 year old son (I'm getting old) would go through that cycle every couple of months.

Hello,

Yes that is a sad story. I went up north one time and left my 18 year old son at home alone. He was supposed to go over to a friend’s house. Well he had a party at our house instead. Some of my Daughter’s cloths were stolen "later we recovered them". We found signs of Pot in the downstairs bedroom. I went out and bought a drug testing kit. I made him take it in front of me. You can get an immediate reading and also for free send a sample to the company.

Yes not sleeping over friend’s houses and limited vehicle use. I am sorry I do not know all the answers. Just hope this may help in some way. Good Luck!

Where do you buy a drug-testing kit? I've never heard of them. Pregnancy yes, drugs, no!

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Enough about me, how are you doing?

You could have a physical performed by your doc, and just throw in some bloodwork as well. He'd never see it coming.

That is what my folks did with me anyway....

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Sorry it took so long. You get a drug test at any name brand drug store in the Pharmacy area. They have several different kinds.

Seems about a month ago he and a group of friends found an ATM card at the mall and proceeded to use it to purchase gas and some clothes. We got a summons in the mail box last week for him to appear in juvi court on March 7th. He claims he did not use the card and is only being charged with being a party to the crime. Unfortunately, he was just a couple weeks away from getting off of probation.

Heads up to everyone (something I did not know). ATM cards can be used without a pin number. Don't ask me how but they can.

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They will have photographic evidence if he used it or not. THey snap pictures at all the machines.............someone intercepted my brothers card from the mail a number of years ago.....they caught the person over numerour withdrawls.

__________________
Proud owner of ....
1971 280SE W108
1979 300SD W116
1983 300D W123
1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper
1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel
1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified)
---------------------
Section 609 MVAC Certified
---------------------
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

BHD is right... many stores have cameras at the credit/debit card machines. My debit card is a "Visa" debit card. I can swipe it at any store and just choose "credit" rather than debit, and it never asks me for my pin #... and I have never had a cashier ask to compare signatures or see an ID, etc...

You could give your son one chance to come clean, and then explain that there will likely me photo/video proof of who used the card. See what he says then!

Good luck,

Chris

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Let him go to court and let the judge handle it. If he is innocent, it will come out. If not, well consider it an education experience for him. Why interfere in the process.

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