Here are some jokes to enjoy.
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at
http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php

True tales of InDUHviduals - From Scott Adams, creator of
Dilbert

I went to the registry of motor vehicles to renew my
license. When I handed the clerk a check to pay for the
license she asked for some identification. I pointed to the
renewed picture license that she was holding in her hand.

While talking to a colleague IN PERSON I mentioned that I
colored my hair. He asked me what color.

Last week my co-worker was traveling on business to a very
small town. They found a restaurant in the phone book and
asked the woman working at the hotel desk how to get there.
The desk clerk told them all about it and gave them
directions. After driving around for half an hour they
could not find it. When they returned to the hotel, the
woman at the hotel desk told them, "Oh, I forgot; they
never did build that restaurant."

I went shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous
button that said, "It might look like I'm doing nothing,
but on a cellular level, I'm quite busy." I showed it to
her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I'm
always talking on mine."

I went into a major retail establishment and asked an
employee in the garden section whether they sold hyacinth
vases. Seeing her blank look, I described a hyacinth vase,
explaining that it has a narrow neck, with space for a
flower bulb on top and water on the bottom. Said the
employee, "Have you looked in Electronics?"

Received from Caprice.

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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
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AT NEW YORK's Kennedy airport today, an individual - later
discovered to be a public school teacher - was arrested
trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning
press conference, the U. S. Attorney General disclosed that
he believes the man to be a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," he declared. "They seek
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go
off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use
secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to
argue, there are three sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, the President stated,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
I am gratified that our government has shown us a sine that
it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are
willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky
statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of
influence. Under the circumferences, we must differentiate
their root, make our point, and draw the line."

The President warned, "These weapons of math instruction
have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a
scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a
Higher Power and begin to factor in random facts of
vertex."

The Attorney General concluded, "As our Great Leader would
say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertain
of: though they continue to multiply, their days are
numbered as the hypotenuse tightens."

Received from Joyce Morrison.

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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
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The new father was left with the baby all day while mom went
shopping for some unmaternity clothes. When she returned she
went to check on the baby. The smell was overpowering. She
found the disposable diaper full and leaking. She was
furious!

She confronted her husband, "Didn't you bother to check the
baby's diaper all day?"

The new dad responded, "Well, the box says it's good for up
to eight pounds!"

Received from NeunaberJ.

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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)


A couple in their nineties is having problems remembering
things, so they decide to the go the doctor for a checkup.
The doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but
they might want to start writing things down to help them
remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up
from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To
the kitchen," he replies. She asks, " Will you get me a
bowl of ice cream?" The husband says, "Sure." She gently
reminds him, "Don't you think you should write it down so
you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that!"

She then says, "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top.
You'd better write it down 'cause I know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream
with strawberries."

She adds, "I'd also like whipped cream. Now I'm certain
you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down."
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down! I can
remember that! Ice cream with strawberries! And whipped
cream!" He then grumbles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen
and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my
toast?"

Received from Case Bonebrake.

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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
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