Ok. What is this "Friends with benefits" stuff mean? - Page 6 - PeachParts Mercedes-Benz Forum

Jim B. · #76 01-03-2009, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BodhiBenz1987

Obviously there's a divide, as there is with anything where some people are involved and others aren't ... but there is an in-between. I don't think "WTF" when parents get protective, at all. I understand how dad's get about their daughters, albeit from years of having the daughter's perspective. I know when you're actually a parent, it's different, but I just get really annoyed when people give me that "Oh, you wouldn't get it, you don't have kids." Touchy subject, I guess, for me ... there's a prevailing attitude that people who don't have kids are somehow less important or incapable of love. The older I get, the worse it gets ... especially as a woman. You're nothing if you aren't a mother. I know that's not what you were saying, but still, not all of us non-procreators are as insensitive as a few of the comments in this thread.

That's extremely well stated!!!

There is certainly no shortage of parents out there that come off as haterz, as this discussion has demonstrated.

strelnik · #77 01-03-2009, 10:42 PM

This conversation has surfaced some stereotypes and paradigms:

1. Naturally we all expect C280 to be more protective of his daughter's feelings than those of us here who don't know/haven't directly experienced her situation.

2. Other people not connected with his family will view this dispassionately or from their own perspective of self-interest, based on age, sexual orientation, moral code and a million other things I haven't mentioned. So you will hear "if they are both consenting adults, with free choice, each can choose to do or not do...etc"
3. Other people will get upset that the rest of the group doesn't agree with them, and they will advocate their perspective or make remarks which they consider clever.
4. If anything, C280 has perhaps discovered some things about his daughter's generation that he has not seen or been too distracted by daily life to see. And he will make some judgments, possibly taking some action in the light of those conclusions.
5. and life will continue.

-- "Well," said the dervish, "That IS the answer." "Well."

C280 Sport · #78 01-04-2009, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Every girl is someone's daughter and every guy is someone's son. The ex-BF basically asked if she would like to be just bed-mates and if she is happy, good. IF not, she moves on. No biggie.

Agreed even thoue its my daughter here. But you are right in what you are saying. Hopefully she will move on.

redassag00 · #79 01-04-2009, 01:00 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd6QWoNkI_Q

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cuddy+buddy&defid=270715

Hatterasguy · #80 01-04-2009, 01:03 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeA5RKysQP4

A little theme music for when you talk to him.

mgburg · #81 01-04-2009, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

What is the big deal about FWB? It's not like she won't be getting something out if it. If that were the case, maybe she shouldn't get involved. If both parties get their jollies, where is the harm? If he was asking for a one sided thing, I could see it.

That saying is an old, old saw. Besides, would you buy a car if you can't test drive it? I wouldn't.

C280 Sport's first post mentions that his daughter came in crying...I certainly don't see that as "...both parties getting their jollies..." and no harm being done...unless, of course, Mr. FWB was at home, crying in his mommy's lap about their breakup. Please excuse me if I don't have the sense to see that as a possibility...

Yah, I won't buy a car unless I test drive it...but I won't be leaving pecker-tracks on the upholstery, doing "J-hookers" on the back roads to test out the transmisison or "bleach-burnouts" to see if she'll stall...I would treat EVERYTHING that someone entrusts to me as if I already owned it, was responsible for its well-being and if something happened to me, at least what was left behind would be useable for someone else that wanted to treat it with tender, loving care...

Aklim, you and I may live in Wisconsin, but we come from two really different sets of tracks...

aklim · #82 01-04-2009, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C280 Sport

Agreed even thoue its my daughter here. But you are right in what you are saying. Hopefully she will move on.

Well, seeing as how you don't like the guy, I would say that it might be in both of your best interests that she moves on.

aklim · #83 01-04-2009, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mgburg

C280 Sport's first post mentions that his daughter came in crying...I certainly don't see that as "...both parties getting their jollies..." and no harm being done...unless, of course, Mr. FWB was at home, crying in his mommy's lap about their breakup. Please excuse me if I don't have the sense to see that as a possibility...

Aklim, you and I may live in Wisconsin, but we come from two really different sets of tracks...

Well, to be honest I have seen that before. Girl gets upset at the breakup and then decides to be a FWB till she finds something better.

Still, not too far apart to pass a beer, is it?

Skid Row Joe · #84 01-04-2009, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BodhiBenz1987

Obviously there's a divide, as there is with anything where some people are involved and others aren't ... but there is an in-between. I don't think "WTF" when parents get protective, at all. I understand how dad's get about their daughters, albeit from years of having the daughter's perspective. I know when you're actually a parent, it's different, but I just get really annoyed when people give me that "Oh, you wouldn't get it, you don't have kids." Touchy subject, I guess, for me ... there's a prevailing attitude that people who don't have kids are somehow less important or incapable of love. The older I get, the worse it gets ... especially as a woman. You're nothing if you aren't a mother. I know that's not what you were saying, but still, not all of us non-procreators are as insensitive as a few of the comments in this thread.

All correct BodhiBenz......and if you're a male, you may be a suspected child molester, if unmarried without kids.

I've sure read some lewd forum remarks in the past, made by some of the "all-caring nurturing/protective parents."

Which might be really hard to figure.......but actually not.

On parenting, it's analogous to the same tired, empty arguement that some service veterans give to marginalize another non-veteran American's views on the military. As if a non-veteran is less American, patriotic, or incapable of reason/intellect. LOL!

Medmech · #85 01-04-2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BodhiBenz1987

Obviously there's a divide, as there is with anything where some people are involved and others aren't ... but there is an in-between. I don't think "WTF" when parents get protective, at all. I understand how dad's get about their daughters, albeit from years of having the daughter's perspective. I know when you're actually a parent, it's different, but I just get really annoyed when people give me that "Oh, you wouldn't get it, you don't have kids." Touchy subject, I guess, for me ... there's a prevailing attitude that people who don't have kids are somehow less important or incapable of love. The older I get, the worse it gets ... especially as a woman. You're nothing if you aren't a mother. I know that's not what you were saying, but still, not all of us non-procreators are as insensitive as a few of the comments in this thread.

Obviously you do understand the parent child bond sorry if my grenade landed in your proximity.

Kuan · #86 01-04-2009, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aklim

Every girl is someone's daughter and every guy is someone's son. The ex-BF basically asked if she would like to be just bed-mates and if she is happy, good. IF not, she moves on. No biggie.

Therefore you should treat others' daughters or sons as your own. Don't say stuff about them or at them that you would not say to your own... and I seriously doubt you would tell your own daughter that if she gets off on it then it should be fine.

Medmech · #87 01-04-2009, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan

Therefore you should treat others' daughters or sons as your own.

Imagine how much different the world would be.

aklim · #88 01-04-2009, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan

Therefore you should treat others' daughters or sons as your own. Don't say stuff about them or at them that you would not say to your own...

and I seriously doubt you would tell your own daughter that if she gets off on it then it should be fine.

That's the old "Do unto others...." that I never believed in. It seems to be "Do unto others as you would HOPE they do unto you.". I treat people as good as they treat me.

IF I did have a daughter, I most certainly would.

strelnik · #89 01-04-2009, 09:43 AM

We have seen 90 or so posts on this topic, people have vented, explained, advocated, argued, etc., the theses and antitheses have turned into syntheses, and the dervish is again right:

-- "Well," said the dervish, "That IS the answer." "Well."

OMEGAMAN · #90 01-04-2009, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuan

Therefore you should treat others' daughters or sons as your own.

That means you would have to pretent your from the south when you wanted to have kids