I found out last night that my 16 year old daughter has been stealing.
A pair of pants, a shirt, two pairs of earings and three purses over the last two months that I know of.
She was turned in to us by her older sister, who had known for some time now, after she took $15.00 from her purse to buy a concert ticket and then refused to own up to it. Before that she had taken about the same amount from her 8 year old brother which we discovered and dumbly assumed was an isolated incident.
What bothers me the most is the web of lies that has been woven in the interim to cover her trail. And her desire to keep the ill gotten goods when told to hand them over. I am afraid we have a lot of work to do to set her straight.
So far the plan involves an amount of volunteer work comensurate with the value of the stolen items at below minimum wage. The stolen items are going to be given to charity (not sure about this yet though) and grounding for an as yet indefinate period (not to be less than till the first of the year).
She has always been a little materialistic but I had no idea that it had become this sociopathic.
I feel like an idiot/bad dad for not being more on top of this eariler.
If anyone has any experience/ideas... I'm all ears.

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-Marty

1986 300E 220,000 miles+ transmission impossible
(Now waiting under a bridge in order to become one)

Reading your M103 duty cycle:
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831799-post13.html
http://www.peachparts.com/shopforum/831807-post14.html

First, it's a good thing that you caught a hold of this before she really got further into it, like becoming the CEO of a energy/telecom company or, a politician . . .

Second, I would suggest that you and your spouse get some trusted professional guidance in handling the situation. It seems that you'd be open to that type of specific advise. Your daughter may need it in the future, but usually it's the parents that need it first to help them help their child.

My heart goes out to you. You and the wife need to do what is called tough love. You have to be hard on her and make her realize you are not going to tolerate the lying/stealing.

My oldest son (16) started his years worth of live in re-hab this past Wednesday. He had been to court 5 times within about a year and a half, spent two months in YDC and after that the state took custody of him. His problem was cocaine/pot but the lying started about a year before the drugs. I'm hoping getting him away from the wife and in the rehab will turn him around. She still thinks he is awesome and is her precious baby. I told her until she is as hard on him as I am and learns to tell him NO then he will probably not change.

Oh yea, there was stealing going on around the house to obtain $ to purchase cocaine with.

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Jim

I have a brother who acted like that as a teen. Unfortunately for him, my parents behaved as Engatwork describes his wife. They excused stuff when it was little so that when things finally got big, it was way more than they could handle. It took him nearly 10 years of hazardous living to finally get his head on straight. I don't know what advice to give. You are obviously not in denial and you love the kid. Those are two things you have going for you and for her.

A cousin of mine in Kalifornia sent his son up to me to be "boiled out". The kid was addicted to crack cocaine. Me being a harda$$, I put him out in the field picking and digging rocks by hand. The changes in the kid were something else to see. The first few days he was hawking out huge crack boogers that would choke a horse. He would get tired very quickly and want to sleep. Everytime I caught him sleeping he would get my packer boot in his rear. After the crack started to leave his body he started to gain some weight and finally regained his old physique back. His attitude changed to the point where he gained work ethics and later on I taught the kid how to weld. He turned into an eager learner. After 5 weeks of me being a total ba$tard I sent a young man back to my cousin. That was 15 years ago. The kid didn't go to college but he is holding down a steady job and is a bennefit to society. No I don't want any more problem teenagers. This one was enough. Just posting this to let everyone know that there is hope for these kids.

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1983 300-D turbo
1985 300-D turbo
1959 Harley Panhead chopper
1929 Ford coupe restored
I hang out with Boneheaddoctor at Schuman Automotive OBK#5
All liberals are mattoids but not all mattoids are liberal.

I have no experience here, since I'm not a parent, but I do remember reading about the Scared Straight program. From what I understand, it's done wonders for many young people. Good luck.

Scared Straight's Website

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Current:
2014 VW Tiguan SEL 4Motion 43,000 miles.

2016 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport (wife's).

Past:
2006 Jetta TDI 135,970 miles. Sold Nov. '13.
1995 E-320 Special Edition. 220,200 miles. Sold Sept. '07.
1987 190-E 16 valve. 153,000 miles. Sold Feb. '06.
1980 300-D 225,000 miles. Donated to the National Kidney Foundation.
1980 240-D manual, 297,500 miles. Totaled by inattentive driver.