wow man....i'm really sorry to hear about this....the only usefull advice i can give you is whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This definately won't kill you(although it may feel as if you'd rather be dead), but it will make you a stronger person in the future. The best of luck to you bro,
Ryan

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83 300SD.......sold
96 integra SE....sold
99 a4 quattro....sold
2001 IS300.......sold
2002 330i.........current.
2004 highlander limited....current.

GottaDiesel,

There is some good advice on this board.

Right now, you are in 'shock'. In time, this will pass. My BEST advice is to make an appointment with a counselor (through your church or whatever means) and get some help for yourself FIRST.

Whatever happens in the future with your relationship, YOU will need time to heal and get on the path to recovery.

Stay strong. Make the appointment and go once or twice weekly until the crisis/shock stage has passed. Only then will be start to become prepared to deal with the other issues you will be facing (financial/separation/divorce, etc.)

Good luck to you

I hate to hear that for you.
I pretty much agree with everything that has been said in the above posts. Not to sound hard but I suspect she already has someone else just to up and leave like that.

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Jim

You are not alone, this has happened to many people. Women are not predictable in general. Hope you feel better.

Thanks again for all the support and excellent advice, I really mean it. I would have never thought so many people would say so much. I'm not sure if she has somebody else, it certainly is possible -- I'm smart enought to know that anything is posible.

For now I guess the only thing I can hope is that she is happy and safe. There is really nothing else I can do.

Have to keep going on with life. I know they say that time heals all wounds I'm definity going to be the one that tests that theory.

The only thing I can't stress enough. If you have a person that you love, and I mean really love (think about them more than yourself, etc.), give them an extra hug and kiss, and let them know how much they really mean, not just with words, but show them. If one less person in the world has to have this happen to them, it is worth it. When you see those flowers in the supermarket for $1.99 and you think about it. -- Don't just think about it, grab them -- heck, grab two! walk in the door with them behind your back, tell her (or him!) you love him and give them to her. Or if you're in a dollar store, and you see a little card (usually 2 for a $1) -- 50 pennies, isn't going to break anyone. Grab it, throw a stamp on it, and mail it to her. Trust me, the little things really do matter.

Funny, I hear people joking about how if they knew then what they know now (about girls, and youth, etc.)... how life would have been different. Well, I can say the same exact thing only about married life. A simple card, and some flowers, I can remember how her face would light up when I gave her a simple bunch of flowers, she would grab up a vase as quick as she could, and start sniping away to make it just right for the vase, she'd clear off the whole dining room table, and put them smack dab in the middle.

I don't know really what else to say, except, thanks again.

I don't think the comments disparaging GottaDiesel's lost love (or females in general) is very appropriate given the tone of this thread.

I consider my wife my "best friend" as well, and I will add that most women generally don't just up and "leave" a relationship...it takes a lot of hurt before a woman decides to surrender.

Being an MB forum, a woman leaving a relationship is analagous to a thrown rod in an engine. The rod doesn't just suddenly fail for no reason...long periods of oil starvation may contribute to the ills.

You had mentioned some issues with not tolerating her family, and I applaud your efforts in trying to discover the root cause of her dismay. It is a step towards healing, and a future reminder to keep in tune with your loved one's feelings on a regular basis.

I agree with others that contacting her is not a good idea right now...it would be like adding oil to an engine AFTER it threw the rod.

She needs time to heal...LOTS of time.

If she chooses to return, a lot of concessions will have to be made on your part...you can't fix the engine with a little oil...it needs a complete rebuild!

For the time being, get some help, some professional advice, and do your best to be in the company of friends as much as possible. You need to heal as well.

And by all means, if you need to brood, do so...it's also a part of healing.

__________________
2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

If I had a nickle for every time for every time "her family" broke a couple up I'd be richer than a divorce lawyer. My 2 cents, Canadian, is as long as she is with her family, you won't be. They did "give her away."

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. In some ways it's worse than death. If I were closer, I'd take you out for a beverage of your choice. Maybe a few.

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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows - Robert A. Zimmerman

Um... about the thrown rods. Excluding an original 3.5 liter OM603, right?.

Anyway, I think all the advice has been said. It hurts, and it will hurt for a long time. What matters is how well you cope with the situation. Try meditation or prayer, try to relax your soul and quiet your heart. This will most likely not be the end of all hardships for you, so think in the present, not in the past. At least the future can be altered. You cannot dwell on the past as your future will be wasted.

Have a good day, and Godspeed my friend,

__________________
1987 300SDL (324000)

1986 Porsche 951 (944 Turbo) (166000)

1978 Porsche 924 (99000)

1996 Nissan Pathfinder R50 (201000)

Gottadiesel... your story moved me. I hope you get through this quickly. Remember, we have no control of what happens... God controls our destiny. If its meant to be, it will...

Thanks again to everyone.

Today was the first day that I didn't try to reach out to her. It was easily the most horrible days of my life. I told her I loved her everyday of my life -- and I still do and always will. To know that today I didn't tell her... that is extremely sad.

I waited my whole life for this this girl and now -- now she's gone.

I started thinking about so many things we planned together and knowing that none of them will happen...

Thanks for listening.

Time is the great equalizer. You hurt now but time heals all wounds. Move on with your life. There are plenty of fish in the sea. One thing you should always remember, " no matter how beautiful the woman or how handsome the man, there is someone somewhere who is unhappy with something that they do or have done in the past." There is someone reading or writing to this thread who is wishing that their significant other would leave. Carpe Diem.

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N. Hodges
1994 S350
1987 300 SDL (for sale)

How are you doing Gotadeisel. We are hoping you are hanging in!!

To be very honest, I'm trying to focus on work. If I don't keep working I'll be unemployeed and heartbroken. I have to say, it is extremely hard. I worked hard to try and make a good life for my wife and someday, or kids. Doesn't seem much point at this stage in the game, but I have to keep going.

Everytime the telephone rings, I hope it is her. Last night and old friend of mine stopped by, the door bell rang, you had to see me run to the door, I was happy to see my friend, but I prayed it would be her.

Everyone has been very supportive, and I know things happen for a reason. I'm on my second day of not reaching out to her and it is hard as can be. I would do anything to hear her voice, anything for a chance to talk to her. I know I can't control what she does next, so I can't get sicker over it. Coughing up blood, not eating, and not sleeping is about as bad as it gets.

I only wish she would reach out to me somehow, just something to say that she's ok -- and that she's happy... as crazy as it seems, I really really really pray that she's not feeling the way I am. One of the two of us feeling this way is already one too many.

Thanks again everyone.

Stress makes me (and everyone else too, I'm sure)... pretty sick, pretty much a bad cough, cold, etc. I'm trying to "self medicate" -- I KNOW that if I can control my stress I can get well in a matter of days.

I'll get there...